Cardamom-Lime Sweet Rolls — Dale Knows How To Host

This post should be titled “Things and People Mom Took Care Of”.

This photo is the ultimate! A baby and a young child WAITING. Oh, Mom. And, she managed to look chic.

Mom and my sister with my Uncle Frank’s first wife, Ferne, in rockin’ patchwork in the background. 1969

Mom and my sister at her daycare in Jerusalem. 1974

Mom and my daughter at our old ranch in Wimberley, Texas. i like that you can tell from Mom’s cheeks that she is smiling. 2005

Mom and my daughter in Austin, Texas. I love how Luca just melts into her Grandmomma. 2006.

My daughter and Mom on the London Eye. 2012.

My parents with Nonnie at one of her nursing homes after her stroke. I think this one was in Chapel Hill. Maybe 2000 or so?

Mom teaching my cousin Reed how to knit at the Reed Farm in Tennessee. Cousin Mariah to the right of Mom. Date unknown.

Our cat, “Beamer”. Beamer was still around when I was a young child but she had no tail because she got in a conflict with a Mockingbird and it got infected and had to be removed. We also had a cat named Shiner ("Sunshine”) who probably wished she had no tail because I liked to pull it.

Mom with Rosie (Rosemary), who was my cat (although she was really Mom’s). Elisabeth also had a tortoiseshell cat named Tessa. I don’t have a photo of Tessa but here’s another one of Rosie.

Family photo in my Volberg grandparents’ driveway in Kingsport, Tennessee. Probably the late 1970s.

Mom with my daughter in the nursing unit of Carolina Meadows when we finally got her home to live out her last days. 2018.

Until the end, Mom was comforting us. Mom with my hand.

Mom was such a good sport. You can’t even see her because she is swamped with Reed girls going up and down on the hospital bed! (Mom loved it.)

Mom and Dad at Lake Champlain, Vermont. 1990.

The night after Mom’s funeral. Dad being taken care of by his granddaughters. Chapel Hill, North Carolina. 2018.

I came across a poem the other day and it absolutely kicked me in the gut:

Two-Headed Calf, by Laura Gilpin

Tomorrow when the farm boys find this
freak of nature, they will wrap his body
in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north
field with his mother. It is a perfect
summer evening: the moon rising over
the orchard, the wind in the grass. And
as he stares into the sky, there are
twice as many stars as usual.

I bawled my eyes out, took a big gulp of air, and bawled some more.
Why did this poem get to me so badly? I told my sister that I feel like I am the two-headed calf and that our mom fiercely loved me and I miss her. My sister responded that I’m not a freak of nature. (Thanks, Elisabeth!) But, I think my point is that there is beauty in difference and the best maternal love celebrates that. It got me thinking about all of the ways that Mom took care of people and animals. Loyal and loving, she was the one who you wanted in your corner.

I mean this whole blog is about how Mom took care of me. There were small things like the time she sewed a pocket to the inside of my coat so I could keep my wallet safe when I traveled abroad. Then there were big things like the time she wanted to buy me a crazy expensive color photo processor so my creative work wouldn’t have to stop when I left college. (I didn’t let her. As wonderful an idea as that was, I lived in a 5th floor walkup and it just wasn’t practical to have a color darkroom of my own.)

But, let’s talk about how Mom took care of OTHERS. We always had cats. First, Shiner and Beamer, Mom and Dad’s rescued cats from their child-free days in New York. Later, Rosie and Tessa, cats that were given to me and my sister by our Uncle Frank. We were supposed to take care of them, but Mom really did. When Mom found out she was dying, she wanted to get a cat. That was part of her vision. Dad sent out an email asking if anyone had a “loaner cat” and, miraculously, we found one. His name was Foxtrot and he really lightened up the scene. Unfortunately, I think he was a little freaked out by Mom. Cats are smart and he could tell she was sick. But, there’s something about having a fuzzy goofball around that makes everyone feel a little bit better.

Mom also took care of her Mom. I was at my job at a gallery in Houston when I received a call that my Nonnie had had a stroke. That was shocking as she was in great shape. She had just done yoga that very week. Mom loaded up the car and drove straight to South Carolina (my Grandmother had retired to Fripp Island). For the next month or two, Mom gave up her entire life and just dealt with getting my Nonnie back on track or as close to it as possible. Mom stayed there and got Nonnie set up in a nursing home. She monitored her physical therapy. She took over her finances. Mom kept Nonnie’s house running. And, she ran herself ragged. Eventually it was decided that it would be best for Nonnie to move up to North Carolina so that Mom could return home. Ultimately, that was a good decision, but it involved researching nursing homes, hours on the phone with insurance and Medicare, tedious stuff like packing and moving. And, then Mom had to deal with Nonnie’s house! Cue real estate decisions and sorting through years of possessions. And, with Nonnie now in close proximity, Mom was expected to drop everything whenever a situation would arise. This responsibility took over my Mom’s life for several years and she dutifully dealt with it. Sometimes it sucks to be such a solid person.

On a more fun note, Mom also took care of her pride and joy: her granddaughters! How she wished she could have lived closer to them. Still, Mom made the best with what she had and would visit whenever possible. My sister (who lives in California) and I occasionally called my parents in for babysitting. I was once invited to a wedding party in Scotland that sounded too fun to pass up. So, Mom and Dad flew in for the week, made meals for my daughter, and schlepped her back and forth to school. This sort of thing was not a chore to Mom, it was a privilege. Once, after spending a day with her grandparents, I asked my daughter what she had done and she exclaimed, “We went to Hooters!”. Hooters?! Really??? What the hell???? That didn’t sound very Reed-like. After a little digging I figured out that my parents took my kid to HOOVERS, an Austin soul food restaurant owned by their friend. Ahh, Hoovers. Heart attack averted.

Mom also took care of her friends. One of her best friends, Ida, was sick with cancer for a long time. Mom kept tabs on her and, I’m sure, made her feel supported. They had a standing lunch date and I remember hearing updates from mom when things were hopeful or, sadly, less so with Ida’s health. I also remember our family friend, Peg, having a baby prematurely and Mom rushing off to the hospital. I had to have been pretty young, but it definitely made an impression. You go when your friends need you.

And, finally, Mom took care of my Dad. For sixty years. I’m not sure I realized how much she did until she was no longer here. They were codependent in the most lovely of ways. Who wouldn’t be after spending that much time with someone? My heart goes out to my Dad for having to find a new way of life. Fortunately, he has. I’m grateful he found his new wife, Linda. But, the pain is still very much there for me and I’m sure it’s there for everyone else who was “graced with the grace” of Dale.

My friend Carolyn’s mom died last week. It was kind of a similar situation to my family’s. Her mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and went swiftly. But, it allowed enough time for Carolyn and her siblings to be there. Carolyn and I talked about observing someone dying. "The human body, doing human things," she said. I remarked that it was like experiencing a birth, strange and fascinating. I’m sorry we’ve lost another wonderful woman and mother, but I’m glad my friend is at peace with it. Carolyn sent me an Emily Dickinson poem that hits home:

The Bustle in a House

The Bustle in a House
The Morning after Death
Is solemnest of industries
Enacted opon Earth –

The Sweeping up the Heart
And putting Love away
We shall not want to use again
Until Eternity

I was actually going to share a pot roast recipe today, but after that two-headed cow poem, I think that’s in poor taste. So, let’s go with something less controversial: CardaMOM-Lime Sweet Rolls (for our Moms!).

CARDAMOM-LIME SWEET ROLLS
Makes 24 rolls

Dough:
1 package dry yeast (about 2 1/4 teaspoons)
1/4 cup warm water (100 to 110 degrees)
1/2 cup sour cream (you can use light if you wish)
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup butter, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 large egg, lightly beaten
2 1/3 cups all-purpose flour (about 10 1/2 ounces), divided
cooking spray

Filling:
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon grated lime rind
1/2 to 3/4 teaspoon ground cardamom
2 tablespoons butter, melted, divided

Glaz:

1 cup powdered sugar
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice

To prepare dough, dissolve yeast in warm water in a small bowl; let stand 5 minutes.

Combine sour cream and next 5 ingredients (through egg) in a large bowl, stirring until well blended. Gradually stir yeast mixture into sour cream mixture.
Lightly spoon 2 1/3 cups flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife.
Add 2 cups flour to sour cream mixture, stirring to form a soft dough

Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead until smooth and elastic (about 8 minutes); add enough of remaining flour, 1 tablespoon at a time, to prevent dough from sticking to hands (dough will fell slightly tacky).

Place dough in large bowl coated with cooking spray, turning to coat top. Cover and let rise in a warm place (85 degrees), free from drafts, 1 hour or until doubled in size. (Gently press two fingers into dough. If indentation remains, dough has risen enough.)

To prepare filling, combine brown sugar, rind, and cardamom. Divide dough into two equal portions. Working with 1 portion at a time, roll dough into 12 x 10 inch rectangle; brush with 1 tablespoon butter. Sprinkle half of filling over dough. Beginning with a long side, roll up jelly-roll fashion; pinch seam to seal (do not seal ends of roll). Repeat procedure with remaining dough, 1 tablespoon butter, and filling. Cut each roll into 12 (1-inch) slices. Place slices, cut sides up, in a 13 x 9-inch baking pan coated with cooking spray. Cover and let rise 30 minutes or until doubled in size.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Uncover dough. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool in pan 5 minutes on a wire rack.

To prepare glaze, combine powdered sugar and juice, stirring until smooth. Drizzle glaze over warm rolls.

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