Scones — Dale Knows How To Host

The Reeds at the Commodore Club, QM2. 2018.

Luca and her beloved Shirley Temple. 2018.

My first memory is of me sitting on an airplane looking out the window into the sun. Mom and I talked about it and she thinks that it was most likely from our return flight from Israel when I was 2. So, it appears that crossing the Atlantic has always been a memorable thing for me.

My parents decided to take the Queen Mary 2 to England with friends one summer, following in the footsteps of my Great Grandmother Reed who took the ship with her buddy, my parents’ Latin teacher, Miss Elmore, once for a ladies’ adventure. I’m not sure if this was the same trip where GG and Miss Elmore ended up riding camels in Egypt, but somewhere there is a wonderful photo of the two of them in front of the pyramids.

Mom and Dad liked the QM2 so much that they basically decided that was how they were going to travel from there on out. As I mentioned earlier, they went to England every summer, and once Mom and Dad discovered the ease and comfort of ocean liners they never went back to flights. For my parents’ 50th anniversary, they bought my family and my sister’s family tickets to join them on the QM2. It was intended to be a one time thing for us, a once in a lifetime celebration. But, what we discovered was that the ship was the perfect Reed vacation. No one had to do anything. We only saw each other when we wanted to. Mom could lie in bed, look out the window and read, visited by her eager granddaughters. Chris could play simulated golf. The Reed ladies could all take line dancing lessons. (Yup, you read that right! Nothing like doing the “Achy Breaky” with aggressive swells on the high seas!!). There was a Kids Club that was actually cool. So, for something like 4 amazing summers that is what we did as a family, up until Mom’s dramatic last trip home. Luca and I accompanied Dad solo on the QM2 the year after Mom died and, while nice, it was quite a different experience.

There was a 24/7 buffet onboard the ship, which Dad referred to as “feeding time at the zoo”, due to its inelegance and eager participants. Ha ha. We all generally opted to eat together in the more formal restaurants or in the pub instead. We fell into a rhythm of hitting trivia most nights before our late dinner seating. We naively went in thinking we had a pretty strong team but we were repeatedly stomped by people who consider trivia a full time job. Another family fave was to meet at the Commodore Club in the front of the ship for a Happy Hour cocktail. The granddaughters spoiled their appetites with Shirley Temples and potato chips. (Let’s be honest, we all spoiled our appetites with drinks and potato chips. They knew to keep ‘em coming when the Reeds were around!) At the end of the week there was a special dinner in the formal dining room with the charmingly retro offering of escargots, Surf & Turf, and Baked Alaska. This meal concluded with the “Parade of Chefs” where the hundreds of cooks would march through the restaurant in their tall white hats while the band played Sousa tunes and the guests twirled their napkins and applauded in appreciation. After dinner, we would usually pick between a show, a themed dance, or we would go to bed. The dances were good for people watching. My family would drop in for a spazzy song or two, but the floor was really reserved for the hardcore dancers to show off. We snuck the girls into the nightclub a few times until they caught on to our ruse. The staff wasn’t happy to see our kids but the band clearly was and one night they played “Gangnam Style” in their honor. And, one ill-advised evening, fueled by perhaps too many Hours of Happy (that’s my excuse at least), my daughter and I took the stage in the pub and screeched out a karaoke version of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” to a confused looking bunch of people. A man came up to me the next day and asked if I would be “singing again tonight”. I guess I was memorable. I don’t think that’s a compliment.

The QM2 usually had some interesting celebrity guests onboard. On our first crossing we had no idea what to expect. Everyone was required to attend a Muster session prior to departure. That is where you learn how to use your lifejacket and what to do in the event of a disaster. Well, I was standing in the dining area messing with my lifejacket and I saw Chris talking to a rather petite guy in a rumpled linen suit who looked familiar. I said to Chris, “that looks just like Jason Schwartzman”. Chris said “it IS Jason Schwartzman”. It turned out that the theme for the week was Wes Anderson movies and the guests were Wes Anderson, himself, Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzman, and Roman Coppola. They played a different Anderson film every day and had the team introduce it with a discussion. It was indie girl heaven! On the first afternoon when they showed “Moonrise Kingdom” there was a big line to get into the auditorium. Now, if you know my husband, Chris, you know that as wonderful as he is, he is very impatient. He is SO impatient that he actually had Johnny Rotten from the Sex Pistols yell at him to “have some fucking patience!” (true story). Chris was not having it with this line so he grabbed me and ran around to the back of the theater, noting a secret entrance. We walked in and - guess what?! - we walked directly onto the freaking stage mid movie intro. Cool as a cucumber, Jason Schwartzman looked up said, “Hi Chris. Hi Sarah.” We embarrassingly ran to our saved seats and our family was like, “How the hell does he know YOU?!”, amused by the whole situation. We saw Jason a few more times around the ship and eventually it became apparent that, despite the shout out, he didn’t want to be our new best friend. Oh well. But, I did do pilates next to Tilda Swinton. She’s downright translucent and stunning.

One thing you could count on onboard was delicious scones every afternoon. The ship would do a few formal high teas in the Queens Room but there were always some scones readily available at the buffet that you could take back to your room. We *would* dip into “feeding time at the zoo” for scones. While it’s not as luxurious to have to bake your own, it is actually kind of fun. I found two recipes in Mom’s files. I’ll post both below.

SCONES (Nigella Lawson Recipe)
Makes 12

3 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/3 cups milk
1 teaspoon salt
1 large egg, beaten, for egg-wash
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 1/2-inch crinkle-edged round cutter
4 1/2 teaspoons cream of tartar
1 baking pan, lightly greased
1/4 cup cold unsalted butter, diced
2 tablespoons vegetable shortening, in teaspooned lumps

Preheat the oven to 425F

Sift the flour, salt, baking soda, and cream of tartar into a large bowl. Rub in the fats till the mixture goes like damp sand. Add the milk all at once, mix briefly-briefly being the operative word-and then turn out onto a floured surface and knead lightly to form a dough.

Roll out to about 1 to 1 1/4 inch thickness. Dip the cutter into some flour, then stamp out at least 10 scones. You get 12 in all from this, but may need to reroll for the last 2. Place on the baking sheet very close together-the idea is that they bulge and stick together on cooking-then brush the tops with the egg wash. Put in the oven and cook for 10 minutes or until risen and golden.

Always eat freshly baked, preferably still warm from the oven, with clotted cream and jam. (Mom would make her own raspberry jam from our backyard patch.)

VARIATION

Add 3 ounces of raisins or golden raisins for fruit scones, or, something I'm keen on, use the same amount of dried sour cherries, with or without the finely grated zest of '/2 an orange. To make cheese scones, add 3 ounces of sharp Cheddar, grated.

GINGER SCONES (Nancy Silverton Recipe)
8 scones

2 1/4 cups unbleached pastry flour or unbleached all-purpose flour
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon finely chopped lemon zest (about 1/2 lemon)
1 1/2 sticks (6 ounces) unsalted butter, cut into 1-inch cubes and frozen
4 1/2 ounces candied ginger, finely chopped into 1/4-inch pieces to equal 2/3 cup
3/4 cup heavy cream, plus extra for brushing the tops of the scones

Adjust the oven rack to the middle position and preheat the oven to 400°.

In the bowl of a food processor fitted with the steel blade or in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the flour, sugar, and baking powder, and pulse or mix on low to incorporate. Add the lemon zest and butter, and pulse on and off, or mix on low, until the mixture is pale yellow and the consistency of fine meal.

Transfer the mixture to a large bowl and stir in the ginger. Make a well in the center and pour in the cream. Using one hand, draw in the dry ingredients, mixing until just combined.

Wash and dry your hands and dust them with flour. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface and gently knead a few times to gather it into a ball. Roll or pat the dough into a circle about 3/4 inch thick. Cut out the circles using a 3” cutter, cutting as closely together as possible and keeping the trimmings intact.

Gather the scraps, pat and press the pieces back together, and cut out the remaining dough. Place the scones 1 inch apart on a parchment-lined baking sheet.

Brush the tops with the remaining cream.

Bake for 12 to 16 minutes, until the surface cracks and they are slightly browned.

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