Mac and Cheese 2 Ways
Mom with the tambourine in the back row. I think this is the St Dominic’s band?
My father was also in this band but missed picture day. Tragic!
I’ve shared this one before but it’s a goodie. Mom being a beanik at Duke. PS I think this is a mock protest. Mom really liked Bo Diddley.
Somewhere there is a GREAT photo of my Mom and Uncle Frank studying together while they were at Duke. It ran in the newspaper. I’ve searched high and low and can’t find it. So, for now, here is Uncle Frank graduating from Duke Medical school and in a Duke sweatshirt with his first wife, Ferne, and their cat. Great name! ha ha
Mom and Frank as kids visiting relatives in Atlanta.
My Granddaddy, Nonnie, Mom, and Uncle Frank at my Granddaddy’s retirement party from Eastman Kodak. Look what a babe Mom is! And Nonnie! Frank isn’t bad either. When I was little he lived around the corner from us and at one point had a convertible, a waterbed, and a perm. The 70s trifecta!
Frank visiting Mom in the nursing unit at Carolina Meadows before we got her home. 2018.
Glamour City! Mom, my Nonnie and my Uncle Robert at Uncle Frank’s first wedding. Robert also went to Duke after Mom and Frank did.
Mom and Uncle Robert at his New Orleans restaurant, Angeline’s, in Berkeley, CA. Robert unfortunately proceeded Mom in death. He passed away in 2010.
Books! Books! Lots of books! Me in the Mallette St. house library sometime in the mid 90s. When Mom and Dad moved to Carolina Meadows they sold thousands of their books!
I know I’m biased but Mom was a total genius. After she died one of her friends, a dude, nonetheless(!), told me that Mom was the smartest person he’d ever met. She knew something about everything. I remember Mom telling me a story about her time in high school. I recently ran it by Dad to fact check. He said he didn’t recall it but said “it sounded like her”. So, I’ll tell it. The story goes that Mom was in line to become the valedictorian of her class but she had anxiety about having to make the graduation speech. So, having already gotten into college, she let her grades slip just enough to avoid that responsibility and let someone else assume the role. I wonder if this person ever knew? Let’s hope they were more psyched about public speaking! And, where did Mom end up going to college? Duke! And then she went to Harvard for grad school. Mom was the recipient of the AB Duke Scholarship, the only merit-based full scholarship that the university gives out. Both of her brothers ended up attending Duke, as well. Growing up a Chapel Hill kid this was always a little bit of a conflict for me, especially since one of our schoolyard chants was:
I’m Tarheel born and Tarheel bred
and when I die I’ll be Tarheel dead
So, rah rah for Carolina
Rah rah for Carolina
Nah nah nah nah
Go to hell, Duke!
But, Duke is an undeniably great school. You know how you sometimes hear stories and absorb them as your own? I have some funny memories that aren’t actually mine of Mom’s time at Duke. One was that Mom used to throw an overcoat on top of her nightgown to go to class. It saved her a few precious minutes in the morning. Classic. (I continued this trend by constantly wearing pajamas in high school and topping them off with a hat and heels for a “day look”.) Another memory involved a time when workmen visited the women’s dorm. Apparently whenever they would have a workman in the dorm they would announce it on the loudspeaker. But, if you were in the shower you couldn’t hear the loudspeaker. So, one of mom’s friends got a nice surprise one day. She had showered, dried off, left the towel the shower and was strolling back to her room with only a washcloth in hand (I guess things were kind of casual in the women’s dorm!) and - yikes - encountered a shocked handyman. The washcloth wasn’t large enough to cover anything important so she thought quickly and covered up her face. Now, there’s a smart Blue Devil!
Mom rushed a few sororities at Duke because that was what you did. She didn’t get into any of the ones she was interested in, something that hurts my heart. But, screw them! That wasn’t Mom’s scene anyway. She went on to move off campus and played guitar in coffee houses. Mom was a beatnik, far more interesting (I think) than a Greek. I grew up with a distaste for the sorority/fraternity system possibly because of this but more likely because we lived PRACTICALLY NEXT DOOR to all of them in Chapel Hill. Some were ok, the Chi Psis used to dutifully invite Mom and Dad to their parties in the hopes that they wouldn’t call the cops in return. I actually used to trick or treat at frat houses with my friends (what the hell?!). The guys either didn’t have any candy or they gave us full sized candy bars, nothing in between. Now the Greeks that I actively didn’t like were the frats who built those tacky benches right along the sidewalk on Cameron Ave. You’d have to walk by all of them hanging out and checking out girls on the way to campus (where I went most days – I did a lot of wandering in my youth). I wasn’t sure if I wanted them not to notice me or desperately wanted them to notice me. It was such a teenage conflict. I remember when all of the #metoo stuff was coming out, a friend of mine confided in me that while she was horrified for the victims it also, oddly, made her question herself and her attractiveness because she had never experienced anything like that. That may sound flip, but I think it’s sad and really telling of our times. Our stuff is complicated.
Back to the Greeks - at one point I took violin lessons in the basement of the Chi O sorority house. My teacher was a former member and they kindly let her use the space. I would walk there, stopping by Burger King for a shake, and would arrive early to watch The People’s Court with whoever happened to be in the lounge. Odd, but I don’t remember anyone asking me who I was or why I was there?! How random to have a 12 year old just hanging out in your sorority! They were nice. I also went to dinner a few times at the ATO fraternity house. My friend’s dad was their chaplain. I was probably in my early teens and super freaked out, but intrigued, by the whole experience. So many guys! So many guys who were actively NOT interested in me!
I went on to attend many years of art school where there was no Greek culture. But, the ultimate irony is that, lo and behold, I ended up marrying a frat boy. A Delt, nonetheless. I don’t know much, but I do know that Delts are a pretty fratty frat. They are not “the academic ones” or the “civic minded ones”. These guys like party. Famous Delts include Matthew McConaughey and Will Ferrell, of the movie Old School, “We’re going streaking through the quad!”, fame. Well, I love my Delt. He’s really not very fratty and he’s definitely a good guy and, dammit, he’s FUN. Abrupt segue: You know what else is fun? Cheese! And lots of it. If you’re a Reed, you love cheese. Today’s recipe is a standard Mac and Cheese and then I have a fancy one I also found in Mom’s files. Eat up!
WORLD’S BEST MACARONI & CHEESE
8 oz elbow macaroni
1 small yellow onion – minced
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups whole milk
2 heaping tsp salt
freshly ground pepper
freshly grated nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon hot chili peppers
2 1/2 cups sharp cheddar cheese – grated
2 tablespoons breadcrumbs
4 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter
In large pot, bring 3 quarts water to boil, add salt and macaroni. Cook until pasta is al dente. drain
In large saucepan, heat 3 Tbsp butter. Saute onion on low heat for 8 min, or until soft. Add the flour, stir and cook 5 minutes. Add milk, all at once, salt and pepper, and cook on medium-low, stirring most of the time until it begin to bubble, Simmer 2 minutes. Turn heat off; add nutmeg, chili, and 2 cups of cheese. Stir. Add macaroni. Mix
Pour into 8" x 8" dish, sprinkle with rest of cheese, then breadcrumbs. Dot with rest of butter. Bake at 350F 20-25 minutes, or until top is browned.
FANCY MAC & CHEESE
1 lb elbow macaroni
1 pound extra sharp cheddar (5 cups)
1 large yellow onion – minced
2 bay leaves
1 Tbsp sweet paprika
1/3 tsp cayenne
6 thick slices of bacon
1 Tbsp butter
In large pot, bring 3 quarts water to boil, add salt and macaroni. Cook until pasta is al dente. drain
Cook bacon in butter. Remove and cook onions in remaining fat. Add paprika and cayenne and cook until fragrant.
Add 1/3 cup of flour and 6 cups of milk (Mom’s note: this sounds like too much milk?)
Simmer the sauce for 30 minutes (which might take up some of the extra milk).
Mix sauce in with macaroni. Crumble in the back and put 1 cup of cheddar on top.
Bake at 350F until top is browned and bubbly.
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